Independence and Nightmares

Living alone hasn’t been so bad, no where near what I was terrified of. Today is my sixth day of living alone and I’m generally really loving it! My apartment is super clean and has stayed that way. It’s also a little bit empty, and the fact that my old roommate’s empty room is the first thing you see when you walk in the front door is a bit unnerving because it reminds me how alone I am, but it isn’t so bad. I moved my TV out of my bedroom and into the living room, so I spend a lot of time out in the living room and I feel more at home in my entire apartment, not just my bedroom. I’m actually having a better time focusing on school work surprisingly. I feel like there are absolutely no distractions in my apartment, so it’s easier for me to just sit down and work.

The nights haven’t been as bad as they were the last time I lived alone. I’ve actually been sleeping a lot better than usual (other than last night). I think it’s because I’ve been so busy and stressed that I’ve just been going to bed at a decent time, usually around 10 or 11. But yesterday I had a two hour afternoon nap which prevented me from being tired last night, so I ended up staying up until around 1:30 and didn’t fall asleep until around 2am. So of course, I kept waking up and didn’t fall into a deep sleep at all. Then I had really bad nightmares and woke up in a panic a few times. But last night was the only bad night so far. Other than that, I’ve been going to bed early and falling asleep quickly, staying asleep and then waking up around 8 in the morning which is nice because it allows me to have a nice, slow morning with some coffee before I have to start my day. Today was not like that.

Clearly I just need to stay on a good sleep schedule to stay in a good place mentally. You don’t realize how much the time you go to bed affects you until you stay up late and spend the night having nightmares and waking up frightened and covered in sweat.

In summary, I’m enjoying having even more independence, despite the slight paranoia that comes along with it. I’m going to miss this independence when I move back home next month.

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